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Healing childhood trauma

Thu, 01 Aug 2024 21:58:29 GMT

" He who has health has hope, and he who has hope, has everything."

Arab Proverb

A heavy subject like this may carry a few assumptions, the most likely being that childhood trauma is an indictment of one’s parents—an understandably difficult notion with which to contend when one loves and respects their parents. Another likely assumption is an almost-reflexive instinct that says, “this cannot possibly apply to me; after all, I am a high-functioning individual”.

It may therefore be surprising to learn that even people who grew up in loving homes could have experienced childhood/adolescent trauma. In fact, the research suggests that more than 70% of adults have experienced some kind of traumatic event at some point in their developmental years (this includes physical, emotional and psychological stressors). It may be induced by a myriad of factors: schoolyard bullying; excessive criticism or unyieldingly high expectations, especially at the hands of a parental figure, teacher, or religious leader; body shaming, even when framed as “harmless” teasing or commentary by agemates or elders; corporal punishment at home or school; social or cultural alienation for children who are raised in multiracial/multicultural homes or have lived in multiple places where they are perceived as being different; the material deprivation/precarity brought on by poverty; sexual harassment or assault; the strain of separated/divorced parents; the loss of a loved one; a parent with undiagnosed mental health illness… in short, anything that may lead a developing mind to experience a prolonged sense of unsafety, non-belonging or shame. When these stressors occur in our developmental years, they often exist alongside the belief that something is intrinsically “wrong” with us and/or our adult caregivers cannot be reliably trusted to protect us physically or emotionally. This type of developmental trauma disrupts brain development, modifies the stress response threshold, and has been found to be the highest predictor of interpersonal relationship challenges in adulthood.

When a young person’s most fundamental need for physical & emotional safety isn't met, they adapt to protect themselves in ways that may include extreme reactivity to stimulation, a heightened sense of vulnerability, and avoidant/anxious attachment styles. Other manifestations of the impact of childhood trauma include substance misuse, dependency or abuse; difficulties with anger & stress management; and chronic anxiety, dissociation, or avoidance. Seemingly “opposite” manifestations are just as damaging: perfectionism (nothing is ever “good enough”), obsessive compulsive behaviour, or a tendency to always suppress emotions and/or one’s identity in favour of achievement.

"Children don’t get traumatised because they are hurt.

They get traumatised because they are alone."

Dr Gabor Matepagated

Certain protective genes can be ‘silenced’ via epigenetic mechanisms, predisposing us to autoimmune diseases, cancers and mental health pathology and—given their genetic encoding—these vulnerabilities may be subsequently passed on to our children (which is one biological pathway via which generational trauma may be propagated).

We study and discuss the effects of childhood trauma not to cause undue alarm for parents who often are already understandably overwhelmed, but to underscore the importance of healing childhood trauma among adults and preventing it among children. Unlearning trauma-associated maladaptive mechanisms in adulthood is not easy, but it is doable—and it is extremely important to

undertake this work wherever possible because acknowledging and addressing childhood trauma is the most reliable way to equip us to protect the children in our care from similarly traumatic exposures. There are many pathways to healing, including psycho- & somatic therapy techniques, or self-led re-education through the intentional consumption of relevant books and other content. Through these treatments, we are able to enhance our self awareness of why we do or think certain things and how that informs who we are. This allows for a less-fragile perception of self and our relative [social] safety, which will empower us to relate to ourselves and each other with more compassion and— critically—parent children as whole and healed individuals.

Myth busting

Going to therapy is not a sign of weakness. but rather a brave step to getting help, like we so easily do for bodily ailments. Healing can take place without direct confrontation of the person(s) who caused harm.
Self-kindness is not indulgence, but rather a necessary virtue to allow true kindness to others.

Gastroenteritis

Mon, 15 Jul 2024 20:21:55 GMT

"On Monday we start diarrhoea awareness week - runs till Friday."

Unknown

Gastroenteritis is a term to describe inflammation in the stomach and/or small intestine. The causes are numerous, but in children the most common cause is viral infections.

These viruses are usually ingested and disrupt the normal digestive processes. The lining of the gut is unable to absorb nutrients as it usually does, leaving an excess of fluid and undigested food. This presents as diarrhoea (frequent, loose stool) more often than vomiting, although both can be present at the same time. Additional symptoms include fever, nausea, reduced appetite and lethargy. The most important symptom to look out for and prevent is dehydration. In smaller children this can happen very quickly because of their smaller body volume. Early signs of dehydration include irritability, increased thirst, dry lips, no tears when crying and dark yellow urine.

The mainstay of treatment is hydration. For younger children this can be maintained with breastfeeding/formula feeding and in older children, oral rehydration solution (ORS). This is better than plain water because is replenishes electrolytes (sodium, chloride, potassium, bicarbonate). The salt & sugar allow water to enter the body’s cells easily. Additional treatment like zinc (taken orally) helps with repairing the lining of the stomach and intestines. A good barrier cream (that contains zinc) will help prevent or treat nappy rashes that invariably occur. An anti-spasmodic can be given to alleviate stomach cramps and paracetamol will help with fever.

Red flags to note, that will warrant a visit to a doctor include: an inability to keep all food and fluids down, blood in the stools and reduced level of consciousness. In these cases, intravenous fluids and antibiotics might be warranted.

Prevention strategies

Regular hand washing
Sterilising bottles/teats/pacifiers
Rotavirus vaccine

Homemade ORS recipe

1 litre of boiled water which is then cooled to room temperature
8 teaspoons of sugar
¼ teaspoon of salt

Please note that this solution is not very palatable, so give it slowly and you can add a bit of juice to help.

Plain foods such as bread, oats, rice and broth are advised during the course of the illness. Normal appetite will return, and any weight lost will be regained. If ever you are concerned or unsure of anything, rather visit your doctor.

Myth busting

Anti-diarrhoeal and antiemetic (anti vomiting) medication are not recommended for children. They simply mask the symptoms but don’t actually treat the cause, thus can give a false impression of the illness resolving.
Milk products should be avoided because they contain lactose that is difficult to digest when the stomach and intestinal linings are inflamed, However, this does not include breast milk or formula which are ideal for keeping smaller babies hydrated.

Reparenting oneself

Mon, 01 Jul 2024 22:22:05 GMT

" Reparenting is the practice of giving yourself what the younger version
of yourself didn't receive."

Erica Diamond

You may recall your childhood (including adolescence) as a “simpler time”—one where the toughest things included learning long division, making new friends and keeping your room tidy. “Right” from “wrong” was clear, and punishment was a simple consequence of stepping out of line. You may also be familiar with the saying, “children are meant to be seen and not heard”, which meant being perceived as perfect little angels who reflected how virtuous our parents were. Fear and shame were tools used to galvanise or build character. Feelings of anger, sadness or disappointment (to name a few), had no safe place to be expressed or communally understood. Often, we mimicked the adults around us by burying difficult emotions like these in the desperate hope that they would just go away. Of course they didn’t go away; they hibernated at best, and rather stubbornly rooted themselves deeply in us. Now as adults we wrestle to “contain” our emotions by subordinating them to logic and, when that proves to be only a temporary fix, we may feel as though we’re riding an emotional rollercoaster that we can’t seem to control. Suddenly childhood—and its longer-term impact on us—doesn't seem so simple. If you coul

If you could travel back in time to your younger self, what would you say to him/her/them? Perhaps that it’s okay to miss the mark and keep trying, or that it’s fair to ask for help and expect support when you feel lost/stuck or remind yourself how unique and resilient you are. We owe it to our inner-child—and, crucially, to any children we now parent—to look inward and heal any “ouchies” that hold us back.

Maybe then we can do what often sounds like meaningless platitudes: “ask questions”, “be kind” to ourselves, “careless what people think”, “do it” trembling if we must, but do it, and “be proud” of who we are. This is the journey of consciousness that breaks generations of shame and pain, and births generations of children who are grounded, thoughtful and present for their own lives.

Myth busting

Our brains are fully developed by our mid 20s, but studies show that our brains can still make new connections and build new pathways (“neuroplasticity”). This means it’s never too late to change.
Healing is possible with an understanding of how and why we behave the way we do. We can identify patterns of behaviour and, where helpful to ourselves and/or others, break the cycle.
The journey of consciousness and self-betterment does not have a finite destination; it is the joyful work of a lifetime��.

Upper respiratory tract infections

Sat, 01 Jun 2024 20:23:03 GMT

"Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn."

Xunz

Upper Respiratory Tract Infections (URTIs) refers to infections in the throat, nasal passages, and even the ears (note: the ears are connected to the throat via the Eustachian tube). They are very common in children under 5 years of age, and are typically caused by viruses. URTIs are easily transmitted through aerosols/droplets via direct or indirect contact, e.g., being in close proximity to someone coughing, sneezing or touching your face after holding a toy with mucous secretions. The symptoms most frequently reported by patients upon presentation with a URTI are a runny nose, cough and/or fever—often alongside reduced appetite, irritability, and lower-than-normal energy levels. Important signs to look out for that may suggest severe illness requiring medical admission are fast breathing, reduced level of consciousness, and/or the inability to eat or drink anything.

The mainstay of treatment is symptomatic, i.e., your physician will aim to minimise the discomfort caused by the child’s URTI symptoms (e.g., administering paracetamol for pain and fever management)—while concurrently providing your child with all the support required to fight the infection with their body’s natural defense mechanisms (e.g., fluids like warm water with honey for children above 12 months, and immune system boosting supplements like vitamin C, vitamin D & zinc).

The course of illness rarely exceeds 7-10 days. This may understandably seem like a very long time, but rest assured that your child’s appetite will return, they will regain any weight lost, and they will be back to sleeping in their own bed again!

Myth busting

A ntibiotics are rarely an appropriate treatment because most URTIs are viral (not bacterial). Rest, hydration, and immune system boosters are therefore superior interventions in most cases. Cough mixtures may not necessarily make children feel better sooner. In fact, because many such medications suppress coughing, they can prolong the illness by preventing the elimination of mucous from the airways. Walking barefoot ‘on the cold floor’ does not cause a cold/flu; viruses do not enter the body via the feet .��